Standing Out

I guess today I am inspired by my amazing beautiful friend, Sarah Flake, who wrote a beautiful blog entry today @ http://www.sjflake.blogspot.com/2014/02/cherish-moment.html . Also, I was inspired by seeing selfishness in the wrongest of places, family.

The world (the devil) is so clever in being deceiving. Such beautiful things are swept under feet and confused like the meaning of 'Beauty', truly being happy, friends, and choices.

Beauty-Is it the clothes you wear? The shoes? The make-up? The lack of wrinkles?  The perfect figure/body? Flawless skin? A lovely 'D' size? The perfect hair cut/color/style? A fresh manicure/pedicure?

I think the most beautiful women in the world (and men) have so much more to offer. Sure, they take care of their bodies. They keep themselves healthy. It is beautiful to see a woman with wrinkles that show she has loved, worried, worked, cared for others, and maybe even kept her face towards the sun. I love the sun. It has a warmth that crosses my face, my hands, my feet....brings me closer to something bigger than myself. So far away but I feel like I can grasp it, feel it, touch it. Beautiful. It is beautiful to see a young woman who is willing to set aside time for her family, others in need, and sacrifice what she 'wants' for something better. Maybe these beautiful women do not wear the finest of clothes but she knows that many could be used elsewhere. Maybe she does not wear make-up because her time is more important focused on other things. Maybe a little to freshen up or look nice but never caked and never to hide who she is. Maybe she is not skinny as a bean pole because she makes sure her family is well taken care of and fed. She may have other problems that make it difficult. (You may look at me and think I am one to talk but honest to pieces, I have not been able to gain weight since I do not remember when....My metabolism is terribly fast and there are definitely other factors in my life.) There is a possibility that that 'not-so-perfect' body gave birth to another living soul, and that is priceless. Stretchmarks from giving birth are a beautiful signature of children. Any beautiful man would appreciate a woman who has true beauty and also appreciate that she sacrificed even her body for a child or children. Sometimes, when we use our time wisely and we have meaningful things to do, dressing our hair, nails, and even bodies, are merely not as needful. (I speak of fine apparel when I talk of dressing one's self, not that dressing ourselves in actual clothing is not important.) Modesty in all things can be beautiful. In speech, in dress, and in doings, modesty can be a beautiful trait that is more rare than vanity.

Being happy-Does that mean having all your 'wants' and having them right NOW? Does it mean you should have all the answers right NOW? Does it mean WHEN something happens in your life, THEN you will be happy? Does it mean the best career? The Biggest and Baddest? Does it mean no boundaries, no safe-guards, and no control? Or All Control? Does it mean doing whatever we feel like? Making sure #1 is given all and focused on most? I have found that the most amazingly Happy moments are shared with others. When I help others, I feel happiness in my soul. When my family is around me, I know I am loved and they bring happiness into my life. I have also found that when I am willing to sacrifice one thing for something better, I feel a sense of accomplishment and joy that would have else-wise been unnoticed. A good example of that is when I sacrificed time being with friends, playing games, texting, or other things to help clean, watch kids, or help comfort someone else and often it has been family. That makes me feel wonderful. That makes me feel beautiful. It builds my self-worth. The Lord has sometimes let me wonder and sometimes even wander before he has told me a specific truth or 'answer'. Looking back, I often see why I needed to be patient and why it was not important for me THEN to know an answer but it was important in HIS timing to know. It is important that he did and will answer. Patience brings ultimate joy. Although, sometimes, it is a sacrifice. *Smile.* We need to focus on good things for our future but learn to ENJOY what we have now. That can help us find happiness now. We can count our blessings and see that Happy is sometimes just a 'hello', a hug, or a helpful hand away and we can be that person NOW. Family is of utmost importance in Joy. That is why humans do not want to be lonely, crave children, and crave love. They can bring Joy into your life. Focus on your family BEFORE others. Yes, others can become family. That is beautiful. The family you have NOW can be with you Forever. That is Wonderful. I am often surprised by the self-control I have and boundaries I set for myself (often with the Lord's help) and how they bring happiness into my life. I see others around me who give up those aspects in hopes that they will be happy and our instead lead to sorrow and discontent. There are things though, that we cannot control. Other human beings are one of those unpredictable components in life. We need a rock for which will never fall and then, all other things WILL fall into their proper order. Have Faith in Christ. Have Faith in God. Then, we can let go of the factors that we cannot control. Pray for those things-or people-that our not in our control. I believe there are times to focus on ourselves. In those times, we need to reflect on how we impact others and how our relationships are being held up. Find your peace, then quickly help others to find theirs. That will make you happy.

Friends-I want to quickly touch on this subject. Friends are those who build you up, encourage, and understand that you need to respect your family. If they stop doing these things, then they become once again acquaintances. They take even less presidence than your friends and your friends should take less presidence than your family. It is good to distance yourself from those who destroy. Friends can become like family or family. My best friend is now my best husband too! I have had lots of sudo-adopted moms and siblings that have brought a lot of joy into my life too but for some reason, the best thing is still my immediate family and I think it took me a long time to appreciate what I really had/have.

Choices-So many people think that since we have choices, we should choose whatever we want. That can be a risky bumpy ride. Yes, you always make the ultimate choice. God gave us that great gift. Remember though, there is always a good, better, and best even in small choices. Sometimes we want to make a choice that seems good because it is what we want but later it can be more difficult to overcome the consequences that come with that choice. The Lord has given us a guiding light to help us know what is BEST. Again, sacrifices are made but the results are wondrous! I feel that if we make choices with not just ourselves in mind but our families, friends, those around us, and our Heavenly Father, we will make better and hopefully the best of decisions. Thinking that your choices do not effect others is a teenage-like attribute that needs to be overcome. You can hurt those around you. You can effect them. You can make a difference. I would beg of you to at least try to make decisions and choices that would be great effectual-wise on those around you.

We fall. We sin. We are not perfect. Yet, the Lord knows our hearts and knows the right timing for everything. We can try and we can dig ourselves out of our own pits with His help. The biggest pit I can see is selfishness. That ruins families. The opposite of love is not necessarily hate. It is selfishness. I know I can be that way sometimes but because I can see it, it makes me want to be better and try harder. It makes me conscience that I should take care of others the way I want to be taken care of. Only then can I reach my full potential and find eternal Joy. I want to be more selfless with more self respect, self control, and love. I thank my parents for teaching me the gospel because I know, even for them, life is about making sacrifices for the best.

My last comments are about the origin of these thoughts. I have been inspired over years and years of advice, scriptures, and experiences. I did not sit down with any one's works and write this out but I am sure many of these sayings and expressions have been said before and are surfacing from memory. I thank all those that have also inspired me in these thoughts. I love writing. I love that these things were balling up in intensity and by just typing them out, I feel a sense of relief and renewal.

 There is eloquence in the word.